The great J.J. Proctor once said, "There are things of deadly earnest that
can only be safely mentioned under cover of a joke." - - Don't I know it.
The Evil Genius's POV
The buzzing of my new iPhone woke me.
Okay, actually, I wasn't really sleeping.
I was watching Bella dream.
She was a very deep sleeper.
She was also a blanket hogger.
Seriously, I froze my ass off half of the night, until I found the extra blankets in
her closet.
She seemed tranquil and I wondered if she was dreaming about us.
I reached over her gently and grabbed the phone from her night stand before
it woke her up, knocking a cup of water over onto the floor as I did it.
"Dammit," I whispered and Bella stirred, but didn't wake. I made a mental note
to remember to clean it up as I rubbed my eyes a little and read the text.
Dude…are you dead?
Plopping back down onto my back, I held the phone up above me, chuckling
silently as I replied.
Plopping down onto the bed does not wake Bella up, by the way. I think she
has one of those tempur pedic mattresses…you know, the ones where you
can place a glass of wine on one side and then jump it like a mad gorilla and
the glass of wine doesn't spill?
I totally tried it out, too.
With Bella sleeping that is, not with the glass of wine.
Although, that would be an interesting experiment.
Anyway, back to the texts. I replied to Emmett fairly badly, I still hadn't gotten
the hang of the whole texting thing very well. Luckily the iPhone is reallysmart,
and figures out what word I want it to type even if I fuck it up royally.
Okay, seriously this time, back to the texts.
I told him, LOL…no, not dead
Everything okay?
More than ok on my way home need to talk
Emmett confirmed in his Emmett kind of way to my last text and I let my lips
linger on top of Bella's sleeping head before slipping reluctantly away from her
and off of the bed.
Shoving my jeans and shirt back on, I smiled and breathed in, feeling
absolutely...Fantastic.
I was also relishing in the fact that I hadn't completely imagined the previous
night. Part of the reason I couldn't bring myself to go to sleep was because I
didn't want to wake up on Emmett's couch.
You know, kinda like Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day?
Only not quite so dramatic. And I probably wouldn't spend my time learning
piano.
I watched Bella sleep for a second or two more while I slipped my shoes on.
She looked exhausted, which gave me quite an ego boost, thinking about
WHY she was exhausted…and I laughed silently at the way her hair was all in
disarray.
And she was completely captivating.
After a short debate with myself, I found a pad of sticky notes and wrote a
short note for her.
"Dearest Bella, your woman hood has touched me in ways that…"
Oh my god that was lame.
I crossed it out and threw that one away.
"Dear Bella, sex with you last night was the best of my life...even though I
know I'm much less experienced than you are…"
Holy shit I suck at this.
I scratched that one and tossed it, also.
I thought for a moment and then finally wrote, "Bella, thank you for the most
fantastic night of my existence, I look forward to being the presence of your
beauty later at the set ~ Edward."
I stuck the note to her fridge, assuming she'd eat before leaving, and then I
snuck out quietly because I wasn't quite willing to face Tanya over lateness
due to a very, very tired dick.
Yet.
I tripped over the same goddamn doormat at Bella's doorway that I had the
night before and stubbed my toe. Cursing it, I swore I was getting her a new
one.
A new, non-tripping of innocent human beings who are sneaking out of the
apartment door mat.
I dropped Felix's keys back off with him on my way through the front doors
and he said, "Hey! Thanks, man. Where'd you find those? I was looking for
them all night?"
I'd prepped myself for this one.
I nodded back at the golden doors I'd just come out of and said, "Elevator."
"Huh…weird, I thought I looked there…" he said out loud, then he pointed at
me with his eyebrows furrowed. "Hey I don't remember seeing you come in
last night, aren't you Miss Swan's…friend?" He smiled a little when he
said friend.
Which made me smile.
That question though, I hadn't prepped for.
"Yeah, we uh…I came in with my other buddy Emmett…and the tall blonde?"
I started to leave again but he stopped me.
"Really? 'Cause usually I'm pretty on the ball, I don't recall seeing you with
them."
I needed to get outta there before he figured it out, so, I ad libbed a little.
In other words, my eyebrows shot up and I shrugged it off. "Have a good one!"
I said, scooting passed him.
Close.
Call.
As I walked home in the…and let me just make this abundantly clear, freezing
my balls off, cold as fuck for the beginning of May air, I replayed the evening
I'd just spent with my brown haired beauty and smiled a lot to myself as I did.
The one or two people that were still out and about at that time of day
eyeballed me like I was a nutter, but I didn't care.
Of course, I might of done a little jig or two, also. I couldn't help it, I felt like
John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever or something and I couldn't get that
song out of my head by the Bee Gees from the beginning of the movie.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Ah, ah, ah, ah…stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
I wished I had a button I could turn it off with because I was never a huge Bee
Gee's fan to be honest.
Besides the point, I guess.
Doodley doo, do, do doodle do, doodley doo, do, do do do do…life's goin' no
where…somebody help may…
I really gotta shake that song outta my head.
OH…Another thing I wished was that I'd had a heavier jacket.
I got the chills a couple of time but they weren't from the thirty degree
farenheight wind chill factor, they were more from the memory of Bella's lips
travelling along my body, loving on me the way only Bella could.
I knew this because I hadn't ever quite experienced the intensity I'd felt last
night with anyone else, and now that I had, I didn't want to either.
I just wanted to get through this day and do it all again just to make sure I
hadn't imagined all of it.
And hopefully do her better justice this time. As in, not fall in top of her while
I'm trying to be Don Juan.
When I arrived at Emmett's building, I stopped and looked up to his window
just as a few flakes of snow began to fall.
Seriously, wasn't it supposed to be warmer on the East Coast or something?
I felt pretty good about the basic evil plot I'd created with Bella while we
whispered about my idea together as she fell asleep against me with her leg
strew across my body.
She didn't know about my seeing the red head with James yet, I wanted to
save some things for a surprise but she got the jist of what we were going to
try to accomplish.
There was something kind of…sexy about pretending to dislike each other on
the set, I thought. It would be pretty fun watching James think he'd gotten his
way, and it wasn't like we couldn't TALK to each other after all…Besides, it
was only temporary.
Very, very temporary.
As in, the faster I could gather my data, the more temporary it would be.
And I was a very quick data gatherer if I do say so myself.
I made my way up to Emmett's floor and was only a little nervous. Until I
walked in and saw him sitting on the arm of his couch, waiting for me like a
father who was waiting for his son to come home after breaking the rules or
something.
Along side him were Rose, Alice…and Jasper.
"H…hey, guys…" I said, waving a hand hesitantly at them while I closed the
door.
"Got something to tell us, Edward?" Emmett asked with folded arms and a
scowl the size of fucking Texas creased along his forehead.
"Uh…"
Shit, I was kinda sorta re-thinking this whole, fessing up to everyone thing
when I noticed Rose's arched eyebrow and Alice's pursed lips.
Jasper however, simply looked a little bored.
I couldn't help but wonder why they'd all be pissed already, unless…James
had set me up and only TOLD me he was telling Bella to fuck me up, all the
while planning to tell THESE GUYS behind my back!
Dickless, spineless, cowardly…fucking…asshole!
I set my stuff down and eyed Emmett, 'cause let's face it, he was the biggest
and I'd have to be quick on my feet to run away from him once this was out.
"Yeah…um…" I cleared my throat and he narrowed his eyes at me.
"So," I laughed, like it was a joke. "It's kinda funny actually…completely
slipped my mind to tell you guys this…"
"What is it, Edward?" Rose asked coldly.
They were all staring at me and the weight of the lie was hurting my chest so I
just let out a sigh and told them.
Emmett, mostly, but all of them, none the less.
Was I shaking?
I rubbed the back of my neck as I started. "It's Carlisle, ya see, he's…"
"Oh my god," Alice said, her hand flying to her chest. I almost thought she
was being facetious, but then figured…nah.
"Is he okay?" she finished after catching her breath.
"No, no…I mean, yeah, he's fine, he's just…"
"Spit it out, Masen," Emmett spat, and I could tell, he already knew, he was
just waiting for me to say it.
"Yeah, uhmmmm…that's not my last name, actually."
"Uh Huh."
Here we go.
"It's…sort of…Cullen." I said the name quietly and I actually closed my eyes
for a minute after I said it, waiting for the onslaught. Or, Emmett's fist. One of
those.
But once again, there was no sound, no nothing.
Until the laughter started.
When I opened my eyes, it was like de ja vu. They were all sitting there, the
girls were trying to cover their mouths to keep from hurting my feelings at
least, but Emmett, he was literally guffawing and Jasper was shoulder
bobbing like a motherfucker, as though he'd just seen the best ever clownesque
bull riding extravaganza. Ever.
"Dude!" Emmett laughed. "You shoulda seen your face!"
"Nice, very nice," I replied, trying to remain the adult of the group, wondering
how they knew…and then it hit me.
"Bella called?"
He couldn't answer me obviously; he was still laughing way too hard.
I rolled my eyes and let out a highly irritated type huff.
His face was red and tears were streaming down the sides of his face now, so
Alice held her cell up and told me in between her tiny annoying giggles, "I
called Bella after Emmett got your last text."
Now Emmett was squinting with his thumb and fingers squeezing his eyes
while they were shut tight…he could barely breathe for Christ's sake.
It wasn't THAT funny.
"I get it," I said, waving them all off and heading for a shower. "I'm hilarious," I
added…and then I held my hands up and waved them like jazz hands.
"Excuse me for not understanding the business."
I was mocking them.
Know-it-alls.
I'd like to see them find their way around a big ten college campus with only
ten minutes between classes and still be on time.
"Awe, Edward, we're sorry!" Alice chased and teased me as I got to the
bathroom and closed the door, starting the water so I wouldn't have to listen to
her. "We didn't mean to make you all self conscious!"
Assholes.
I shook my head and had no option left but to laugh at myself as I undressed
and stepped into the scalding water and began washing my hair…'cause,
damn I loved those people.
I felt better than I had in weeks getting that shit off of my chest, not to mention
I was about to embark on my extremely vengeful, yet highly entertaining
retaliation on James.
"Well you can telllll by the way I use my walk, I'm a wooooman's man, no time
to talk..."
Goddamn it!
…..
After my shower…and more taunting from the gang, I went over what had
gone down with Bella and our respected Producer dick and where I wanted to
start with the pay backs.
"I don't get it."
Alice was sitting on one of the second hand barstools by Emmett's table,
staring at me now with the most annoying look of curiosity ever bestowed
upon anyone.
"What don't you get, Alice?" I asked her as I fucked with my collar.
"Well, I mean, why not just go to Carlisle? He IS your uncle…"
More snickering, to which I doled out the evil eye out abundantly.
"And he wouldn't put up with that kind of shit, even from James, so…problem
solved, right?"
"Wrong."
"Spill," Emmett said. "You've got another agenda; I can see it in your young
and very inexperienced eyes, Edward."
"Funny," I said blandly, then I told him what I was thinking. "Bella says he
ruins careers…steps on the little guy a lot when he's threatened, it sounds to
me like maybe he needs to be taken down a peg or two, is all I'm sayin'."
The evil in Emmett's smile when I finished my logic said it all.
He was in.
"Plus I don't wanna go running to Carlisle over this, I wanna handle it…the
end result will speak a whole helluva lot louder than complaining to the big
wig."
Em nodded and I saw some serious approval gleaming in his eyes when he
did.
It made me feel really good.
"He had a cousin of mine thrown off of a Broadway play once because he
didn't like her perfume. She hasn't worked since," Rose said.
"Yeah and I heard that one of the girls that was working with him on his last
show were given shit work to do when he made a play for her and she knee'd
him in the balls," Alice added.
"Last show? Was he with Bella then?" I was starting to think this guy hadn't
just cheated on her, the one time.
"Not sure, to tell you the truth, but seriously, does it matter?"
"Point taken."
As the group of us walked to the set together that morning, after Jasper kissed
Alice goodbye and told me, "See ya Friday, Edward," Emmett stopped me and
wanted to know, "So, how're you gonna handle this with the rest of the crew?"
Good question.
"Well…" I started, getting all lion king and "I've got a luv-uh-lee bunch of cohcoh-
nuts" on him…and thought it over momentarily before answering.
Don't ask me what that has to do with anything, it just popped into my head,
okay?
"I think I'm just gonna kinda…eeeeease everyone into it, ya know?"
"Uh huh," he said, interested, crossing his arms and putting one hand up to
his chin.
"You know, like, maybe tell a few people at a time, just so it's not a big deal or
anything."
"Good plan," he told me, and the girls agreed enthusiastically.
I opened the door for Rose and Alice to walk through and then Emmett and I
followed them in.
That's when I heard him.
Plain as day and loud as fuck.
"Watch out everyone! Carlisle Cullen's nephew, comin' through!"
Emmett clapped my shoulder as he passed me when I stopped short and he
told me, "See ya later, nepotism Nellie."
"Dick."
Laughter. Lots and lots of laughter from the peanut gallery.
Every single writer that had heard him, which, let's face it, was all of them,
gave me that look.
You know what I'm talking about.
The one that says, "So THAT's why he's writing so much of the show."
Yeah.
It seems as though not everyone thought it was a big funny joke that I'd been
keeping from them.
Luckily for me, the people who did seem pissed, pretty much meant nothing to
me.
Irony. It's a funny word AND action.
So the question wasn't what would I do about those fuck tards…but more
like, where was James and what how would I handle him until I got my proof
of fuckery?
You'd have thought he'd be there bright and early for this but of course, that
was when I'd thought he'd left the article about me inside Bella's apartment.
And…when I thought she wasn't exactly speaking to him.
They walked in together then and my raging jealous hormones kicked in,
wanting to go over to them and snatch his freaking hand off of her waist.
Then maybe shove it up his own ass.
Bella eyeballed me, briefly, though and I could tell just from the stance she
was taking with him, it wasn't a friendly kind of conversation they were having.
Give it to him good, Bella.
Man, that sounded bad.
Once she stopped talking, James looked over to me and I did my part by
seeming bored.
Okay, maybe I was a little elatedly bored.
He gave me one of his fake smiles and then headed down the hallway to the
stairs.
Going to see Carlisle, I see, James. Yes, go be an ass, more Bella time for
me.
Bella and I made another little bit of eye contact, but we both knew we couldn't
approach each other at the set. In a friendly type manner, anyway...at least
not in front of all these witnesses...
Insert waggly eyebrows here.
Getting busted so soon would have ruined the fun…so I kept my distance and
settled for a wink in her direction, to which she did this cute as hell hair flippy
thing, biting down on her lip as she nodded toward her dressing room while
she walked away.
I'm fairly certain my dick was on board with that.
I texted her with my handy new gadget and told her, "thanks for giving the
gang a head's up by the way."
I saw her look down to check her phone, then laugh as she typed something
back. "likewise for the water I stepped in this morning."
Damn, I'd forgotten to clean that shit up...I nodded a little "touche" to her and
then put my phone away, glancing up.
Turns out, Carlisle was watching that fuckery from his office.
And he was smiling down at me just before turning away, as though
someone…James…had entered his office and being that he was nice and
occupied, I headed for Bella's dressing room.
I closed the door quietly behind me after I made sure no one had seen me
sneak in, and then walked over to her as she sat at her dressing table, waiting
for Rose.
"You're not my makeup artist," she teased and I slinked my hands around her
waist and bent down, nuzzling her neck a little before kissing her there.
"God, I missed you."
She laughed as she brushed her hair a little and rolling her eyes at me
through the mirror. "It's only been a few hours, Edward, really."
Taking the brush from her, I swiveled her chair around and knelt down in
between her legs and took her face in my hands, then planted a kiss on her.
I was getting better at that every time, by the way.
A soft whimper sounded and I couldn't even tell you which one of us made it
but I didn't care.
"Good luck today," I told her as I got up and left the room again.
"You're leaving me?" she pouted and I smirked a little because fuck if she
wasn't the cutest damn…
I sighed. "Only until the next sneak attack," I assured her and then went on my
way.
…...
Later that day I met our director for the first time and I was pretty amazed at
how on top of shit he seemed to be, considering he hadn't been around at ALL
in the first couple weeks of rehearsals and line learning.
He seemed alright though, except for the fact that he appeared to be buddies
with fucking James.
"Laurent!" he'd called over to him once and when they huddled together over
something to do with the outside scene we had to shoot, I couldn't help but
notice their secret laughter they were trying to hide.
Great.
I got over that when I accidently on purpose ran into Bella in the lunch room
and was graced with a dick rub from our leading lady.
The high from my afternoon woody groping was squelched though, when I
had to grin and bear some grueling writers meetings, as in, they made nasty
comments while I went over some changes until I finally lost my shit and
basically told them to kiss my ass and to feel free to come up with better shit
but until that happened, I was in fucking charge of the scripts.
That pretty much shut them up.
And awarded me another approving nod from Carlisle. I felt an inner pang of
something over his never ending support. A craving for it I didn't remember
ever having growing up.
I felt so good after that power trip that I grabbed Bella from behind one of the
stage curtains while she was watching Mike try to remember to
say pelfinstead of quelf and managed a small make out session to include but
not limit itself to boobie groping and penis grinding.
As we walked back onto the stage I thought we were busted when James
rounded a corner to check up on things with the actors.
I quickly distanced myself from Bella though, and said, "So, you'll…" I waved a
hand. "Work that out later right, Miss Swan?"
I tried to be an annoying writer but she smiled anyway.
"Oh, I work it out alright," she told me. "I promise."
God she was a seductress times ten.
Homina.
James and I had a few words after she was out of sight. I gave him a little bit
of shit over the article not rearing its ugly head and he pretty much blew it off,
insinuating that I didn't appear to be an issue any more, so no harm no foul. I
gave him a smirk that I was sure he didn't understand and told him, "Yeah,
some things in life just aren't worth my time anymore."
The closer we got to show time the faster things seemed to move along.
Everyone was pretty stoked, even Tanya, who seemed unusually quiet
throughout the day, but when it came time to get things going, she kicked into
gear.
"Okay people, let's round up!" she yelled and of course, we all did, because
seriously, you don't fuck with Tanya.
The live studio audience was pretty enthusiastic and for a minute there, I'd
kinda lost my balance from the overwhelming feeling I was getting once again.
Not just because of the fact that there was roughly a couple hundred people
watching this thing live, but because the words I'd written
down…things I'dhelp come up with…for the most part anyway, were also
going to be delivered to who knows how many people nationwide over the air
waves.
I didn't know how to process that information.
Luckily, I didn't have to because I needed to pay more attention to the way
things worked and not on my lame insecurities for the evening.
It was really cool the way making this show had come together. I got all kinds
of caught up in watching Emmett get shots that the director wanted and I
loved how that guy just knew the way a scene was supposed to go without
even asking anyone.
He just had that thing.
That thing that people have when their instincts lead them and where it led
them was always win.
The Emmett McCarty Mojo.
Everything I witnesses just blew me away that night.
In particularly, Bella, who'd once again, worn some seriously tight fitting
leather outfit that Alice got her into and I made a mental note to borrow it and
ask her to wear it for me later on.
You really only see bits and pieces of the whole process of making a
television show throughout the week preceding the live show and I didn't even
know about some of the ad libbing that these guys were capable of.
It was a good thing, too, because there was a line that was clear as goddamn
day on Mike's sheet that he fucked up royally toward the end of the damn
show, but Bella picked up on it and covered brilliantly.
The audience loved her. It was clearly written on every single one of their
faces as they watched her.
I just had had no idea the extent of her talents.
Outside of the bedroom, that is.
Actually, I hadn't seen the full extent of her talents there, either…
Beside the point.
James pulled me out of my evil thought process like the dick that he was, of
course.
The last scene with Bella and Mike was coming to its close with the cue of "My
Sharona" playing and the crowd went absolutely nuts. That was when he
turned to me.
I was trying to ignore him, relishing the moment, watching Bella with a slight
smile on my face when he leaned in and informed me, "You'll never be good
enough for her, Monkey."
My eyes found the floor for just a split second and my eyebrows met.
Funny ass twat, that wasn't the impression I got last night.
I looked back up and met his eyes, then. "You're right James, I never will be,"
because, let's be honest here, it was true.
No one would.
But I could try.
I walked away at that and as the actors took their last bows I was caught off
guard as I tried to make my way to congratulate them…her, when I was
caught off guard by the host's next announcement.
"I'd like to introduce you to the pseudo head writer of this little treat, Edward
Cullen!"
Huh?
I panicked, I'm not gonna lie. I hadn't dressed for that shit and no one told me
they'd be introducing me to the freaking audience!
Although it was kinda cool hearing my name announced like
that...my real name.
Regardless, I turned to walk back off the stage when a light caught my sights
and shined down on me, stopping me in my tracks.
More clapping and cheering and I smiled and waved as the announcer gave
them information about my background that I had no idea they knew but I
guess it shouldn't have surprised me since Carlisle had connections like the
goddamn mafia.
It was embarrassing as hell and the only thing that kept me from freaking
completely out was Bella's smile as she clapped excitedly along with the rest
of the crowd and crew and I relaxed, shoved my hands into my pockets,
nodding as I stood there, surrounded by the cast and when it was all finally
over, Emmett, Alice and Rose swept me out of there like a group of hellions to
go celebrate.
The cleanup crew was breezing in as we were breezing out and I got the
oddest feeling that it was all just over suddenly…just like that.
Weird.
I had no idea where Bella was in the sea of people mulling about but I texted
her to see if she wanted to come out with us and she fairly quickly replied that
it probably wouldn't be smart seeing how the paparazzi were swarming
outside already.
Pretty typical of an opening night, supposedly.
Part of me didn't like thinking that we couldn't just walk out together like that
night we'd gone country line dancing...but the other part...the one that kinda
liked being sneaky about the whole James debauchery did like it, so I sucked
it up and asked if maybe I could ambush her back at her apartment later when
everything died down.
Please say yes, please say yes please please please please please…
I tapped my foot, waiting for a reply and then finally, she replied.
I pumped my fist into the air like Rocky Balboa after he fought and won by
mere seconds to Apollo Creed.
YES!
Then I looked around inconspicuously to make sure no one was looking.
Which they were.
Of course.
Emmett shook his head as he slipped his jacket on, nodding for me to hurry
the hell up.
Bella texted one more time to assure me that she'd let Felix know the deal so I
wouldn't have to lift his keys again and I laughed nervously, hoping she didn't
tell the big guy EVERYTHING about that.
Then I took off for a night waiting anxiously for later to
can only be safely mentioned under cover of a joke." - - Don't I know it.
The Evil Genius's POV
The buzzing of my new iPhone woke me.
Okay, actually, I wasn't really sleeping.
I was watching Bella dream.
She was a very deep sleeper.
She was also a blanket hogger.
Seriously, I froze my ass off half of the night, until I found the extra blankets in
her closet.
She seemed tranquil and I wondered if she was dreaming about us.
I reached over her gently and grabbed the phone from her night stand before
it woke her up, knocking a cup of water over onto the floor as I did it.
"Dammit," I whispered and Bella stirred, but didn't wake. I made a mental note
to remember to clean it up as I rubbed my eyes a little and read the text.
Dude…are you dead?
Plopping back down onto my back, I held the phone up above me, chuckling
silently as I replied.
Plopping down onto the bed does not wake Bella up, by the way. I think she
has one of those tempur pedic mattresses…you know, the ones where you
can place a glass of wine on one side and then jump it like a mad gorilla and
the glass of wine doesn't spill?
I totally tried it out, too.
With Bella sleeping that is, not with the glass of wine.
Although, that would be an interesting experiment.
Anyway, back to the texts. I replied to Emmett fairly badly, I still hadn't gotten
the hang of the whole texting thing very well. Luckily the iPhone is reallysmart,
and figures out what word I want it to type even if I fuck it up royally.
Okay, seriously this time, back to the texts.
I told him, LOL…no, not dead
Everything okay?
More than ok on my way home need to talk
Emmett confirmed in his Emmett kind of way to my last text and I let my lips
linger on top of Bella's sleeping head before slipping reluctantly away from her
and off of the bed.
Shoving my jeans and shirt back on, I smiled and breathed in, feeling
absolutely...Fantastic.
I was also relishing in the fact that I hadn't completely imagined the previous
night. Part of the reason I couldn't bring myself to go to sleep was because I
didn't want to wake up on Emmett's couch.
You know, kinda like Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day?
Only not quite so dramatic. And I probably wouldn't spend my time learning
piano.
I watched Bella sleep for a second or two more while I slipped my shoes on.
She looked exhausted, which gave me quite an ego boost, thinking about
WHY she was exhausted…and I laughed silently at the way her hair was all in
disarray.
And she was completely captivating.
After a short debate with myself, I found a pad of sticky notes and wrote a
short note for her.
"Dearest Bella, your woman hood has touched me in ways that…"
Oh my god that was lame.
I crossed it out and threw that one away.
"Dear Bella, sex with you last night was the best of my life...even though I
know I'm much less experienced than you are…"
Holy shit I suck at this.
I scratched that one and tossed it, also.
I thought for a moment and then finally wrote, "Bella, thank you for the most
fantastic night of my existence, I look forward to being the presence of your
beauty later at the set ~ Edward."
I stuck the note to her fridge, assuming she'd eat before leaving, and then I
snuck out quietly because I wasn't quite willing to face Tanya over lateness
due to a very, very tired dick.
Yet.
I tripped over the same goddamn doormat at Bella's doorway that I had the
night before and stubbed my toe. Cursing it, I swore I was getting her a new
one.
A new, non-tripping of innocent human beings who are sneaking out of the
apartment door mat.
I dropped Felix's keys back off with him on my way through the front doors
and he said, "Hey! Thanks, man. Where'd you find those? I was looking for
them all night?"
I'd prepped myself for this one.
I nodded back at the golden doors I'd just come out of and said, "Elevator."
"Huh…weird, I thought I looked there…" he said out loud, then he pointed at
me with his eyebrows furrowed. "Hey I don't remember seeing you come in
last night, aren't you Miss Swan's…friend?" He smiled a little when he
said friend.
Which made me smile.
That question though, I hadn't prepped for.
"Yeah, we uh…I came in with my other buddy Emmett…and the tall blonde?"
I started to leave again but he stopped me.
"Really? 'Cause usually I'm pretty on the ball, I don't recall seeing you with
them."
I needed to get outta there before he figured it out, so, I ad libbed a little.
In other words, my eyebrows shot up and I shrugged it off. "Have a good one!"
I said, scooting passed him.
Close.
Call.
As I walked home in the…and let me just make this abundantly clear, freezing
my balls off, cold as fuck for the beginning of May air, I replayed the evening
I'd just spent with my brown haired beauty and smiled a lot to myself as I did.
The one or two people that were still out and about at that time of day
eyeballed me like I was a nutter, but I didn't care.
Of course, I might of done a little jig or two, also. I couldn't help it, I felt like
John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever or something and I couldn't get that
song out of my head by the Bee Gees from the beginning of the movie.
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Ah, ah, ah, ah…stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
I wished I had a button I could turn it off with because I was never a huge Bee
Gee's fan to be honest.
Besides the point, I guess.
Doodley doo, do, do doodle do, doodley doo, do, do do do do…life's goin' no
where…somebody help may…
I really gotta shake that song outta my head.
OH…Another thing I wished was that I'd had a heavier jacket.
I got the chills a couple of time but they weren't from the thirty degree
farenheight wind chill factor, they were more from the memory of Bella's lips
travelling along my body, loving on me the way only Bella could.
I knew this because I hadn't ever quite experienced the intensity I'd felt last
night with anyone else, and now that I had, I didn't want to either.
I just wanted to get through this day and do it all again just to make sure I
hadn't imagined all of it.
And hopefully do her better justice this time. As in, not fall in top of her while
I'm trying to be Don Juan.
When I arrived at Emmett's building, I stopped and looked up to his window
just as a few flakes of snow began to fall.
Seriously, wasn't it supposed to be warmer on the East Coast or something?
I felt pretty good about the basic evil plot I'd created with Bella while we
whispered about my idea together as she fell asleep against me with her leg
strew across my body.
She didn't know about my seeing the red head with James yet, I wanted to
save some things for a surprise but she got the jist of what we were going to
try to accomplish.
There was something kind of…sexy about pretending to dislike each other on
the set, I thought. It would be pretty fun watching James think he'd gotten his
way, and it wasn't like we couldn't TALK to each other after all…Besides, it
was only temporary.
Very, very temporary.
As in, the faster I could gather my data, the more temporary it would be.
And I was a very quick data gatherer if I do say so myself.
I made my way up to Emmett's floor and was only a little nervous. Until I
walked in and saw him sitting on the arm of his couch, waiting for me like a
father who was waiting for his son to come home after breaking the rules or
something.
Along side him were Rose, Alice…and Jasper.
"H…hey, guys…" I said, waving a hand hesitantly at them while I closed the
door.
"Got something to tell us, Edward?" Emmett asked with folded arms and a
scowl the size of fucking Texas creased along his forehead.
"Uh…"
Shit, I was kinda sorta re-thinking this whole, fessing up to everyone thing
when I noticed Rose's arched eyebrow and Alice's pursed lips.
Jasper however, simply looked a little bored.
I couldn't help but wonder why they'd all be pissed already, unless…James
had set me up and only TOLD me he was telling Bella to fuck me up, all the
while planning to tell THESE GUYS behind my back!
Dickless, spineless, cowardly…fucking…asshole!
I set my stuff down and eyed Emmett, 'cause let's face it, he was the biggest
and I'd have to be quick on my feet to run away from him once this was out.
"Yeah…um…" I cleared my throat and he narrowed his eyes at me.
"So," I laughed, like it was a joke. "It's kinda funny actually…completely
slipped my mind to tell you guys this…"
"What is it, Edward?" Rose asked coldly.
They were all staring at me and the weight of the lie was hurting my chest so I
just let out a sigh and told them.
Emmett, mostly, but all of them, none the less.
Was I shaking?
I rubbed the back of my neck as I started. "It's Carlisle, ya see, he's…"
"Oh my god," Alice said, her hand flying to her chest. I almost thought she
was being facetious, but then figured…nah.
"Is he okay?" she finished after catching her breath.
"No, no…I mean, yeah, he's fine, he's just…"
"Spit it out, Masen," Emmett spat, and I could tell, he already knew, he was
just waiting for me to say it.
"Yeah, uhmmmm…that's not my last name, actually."
"Uh Huh."
Here we go.
"It's…sort of…Cullen." I said the name quietly and I actually closed my eyes
for a minute after I said it, waiting for the onslaught. Or, Emmett's fist. One of
those.
But once again, there was no sound, no nothing.
Until the laughter started.
When I opened my eyes, it was like de ja vu. They were all sitting there, the
girls were trying to cover their mouths to keep from hurting my feelings at
least, but Emmett, he was literally guffawing and Jasper was shoulder
bobbing like a motherfucker, as though he'd just seen the best ever clownesque
bull riding extravaganza. Ever.
"Dude!" Emmett laughed. "You shoulda seen your face!"
"Nice, very nice," I replied, trying to remain the adult of the group, wondering
how they knew…and then it hit me.
"Bella called?"
He couldn't answer me obviously; he was still laughing way too hard.
I rolled my eyes and let out a highly irritated type huff.
His face was red and tears were streaming down the sides of his face now, so
Alice held her cell up and told me in between her tiny annoying giggles, "I
called Bella after Emmett got your last text."
Now Emmett was squinting with his thumb and fingers squeezing his eyes
while they were shut tight…he could barely breathe for Christ's sake.
It wasn't THAT funny.
"I get it," I said, waving them all off and heading for a shower. "I'm hilarious," I
added…and then I held my hands up and waved them like jazz hands.
"Excuse me for not understanding the business."
I was mocking them.
Know-it-alls.
I'd like to see them find their way around a big ten college campus with only
ten minutes between classes and still be on time.
"Awe, Edward, we're sorry!" Alice chased and teased me as I got to the
bathroom and closed the door, starting the water so I wouldn't have to listen to
her. "We didn't mean to make you all self conscious!"
Assholes.
I shook my head and had no option left but to laugh at myself as I undressed
and stepped into the scalding water and began washing my hair…'cause,
damn I loved those people.
I felt better than I had in weeks getting that shit off of my chest, not to mention
I was about to embark on my extremely vengeful, yet highly entertaining
retaliation on James.
"Well you can telllll by the way I use my walk, I'm a wooooman's man, no time
to talk..."
Goddamn it!
…..
After my shower…and more taunting from the gang, I went over what had
gone down with Bella and our respected Producer dick and where I wanted to
start with the pay backs.
"I don't get it."
Alice was sitting on one of the second hand barstools by Emmett's table,
staring at me now with the most annoying look of curiosity ever bestowed
upon anyone.
"What don't you get, Alice?" I asked her as I fucked with my collar.
"Well, I mean, why not just go to Carlisle? He IS your uncle…"
More snickering, to which I doled out the evil eye out abundantly.
"And he wouldn't put up with that kind of shit, even from James, so…problem
solved, right?"
"Wrong."
"Spill," Emmett said. "You've got another agenda; I can see it in your young
and very inexperienced eyes, Edward."
"Funny," I said blandly, then I told him what I was thinking. "Bella says he
ruins careers…steps on the little guy a lot when he's threatened, it sounds to
me like maybe he needs to be taken down a peg or two, is all I'm sayin'."
The evil in Emmett's smile when I finished my logic said it all.
He was in.
"Plus I don't wanna go running to Carlisle over this, I wanna handle it…the
end result will speak a whole helluva lot louder than complaining to the big
wig."
Em nodded and I saw some serious approval gleaming in his eyes when he
did.
It made me feel really good.
"He had a cousin of mine thrown off of a Broadway play once because he
didn't like her perfume. She hasn't worked since," Rose said.
"Yeah and I heard that one of the girls that was working with him on his last
show were given shit work to do when he made a play for her and she knee'd
him in the balls," Alice added.
"Last show? Was he with Bella then?" I was starting to think this guy hadn't
just cheated on her, the one time.
"Not sure, to tell you the truth, but seriously, does it matter?"
"Point taken."
As the group of us walked to the set together that morning, after Jasper kissed
Alice goodbye and told me, "See ya Friday, Edward," Emmett stopped me and
wanted to know, "So, how're you gonna handle this with the rest of the crew?"
Good question.
"Well…" I started, getting all lion king and "I've got a luv-uh-lee bunch of cohcoh-
nuts" on him…and thought it over momentarily before answering.
Don't ask me what that has to do with anything, it just popped into my head,
okay?
"I think I'm just gonna kinda…eeeeease everyone into it, ya know?"
"Uh huh," he said, interested, crossing his arms and putting one hand up to
his chin.
"You know, like, maybe tell a few people at a time, just so it's not a big deal or
anything."
"Good plan," he told me, and the girls agreed enthusiastically.
I opened the door for Rose and Alice to walk through and then Emmett and I
followed them in.
That's when I heard him.
Plain as day and loud as fuck.
"Watch out everyone! Carlisle Cullen's nephew, comin' through!"
Emmett clapped my shoulder as he passed me when I stopped short and he
told me, "See ya later, nepotism Nellie."
"Dick."
Laughter. Lots and lots of laughter from the peanut gallery.
Every single writer that had heard him, which, let's face it, was all of them,
gave me that look.
You know what I'm talking about.
The one that says, "So THAT's why he's writing so much of the show."
Yeah.
It seems as though not everyone thought it was a big funny joke that I'd been
keeping from them.
Luckily for me, the people who did seem pissed, pretty much meant nothing to
me.
Irony. It's a funny word AND action.
So the question wasn't what would I do about those fuck tards…but more
like, where was James and what how would I handle him until I got my proof
of fuckery?
You'd have thought he'd be there bright and early for this but of course, that
was when I'd thought he'd left the article about me inside Bella's apartment.
And…when I thought she wasn't exactly speaking to him.
They walked in together then and my raging jealous hormones kicked in,
wanting to go over to them and snatch his freaking hand off of her waist.
Then maybe shove it up his own ass.
Bella eyeballed me, briefly, though and I could tell just from the stance she
was taking with him, it wasn't a friendly kind of conversation they were having.
Give it to him good, Bella.
Man, that sounded bad.
Once she stopped talking, James looked over to me and I did my part by
seeming bored.
Okay, maybe I was a little elatedly bored.
He gave me one of his fake smiles and then headed down the hallway to the
stairs.
Going to see Carlisle, I see, James. Yes, go be an ass, more Bella time for
me.
Bella and I made another little bit of eye contact, but we both knew we couldn't
approach each other at the set. In a friendly type manner, anyway...at least
not in front of all these witnesses...
Insert waggly eyebrows here.
Getting busted so soon would have ruined the fun…so I kept my distance and
settled for a wink in her direction, to which she did this cute as hell hair flippy
thing, biting down on her lip as she nodded toward her dressing room while
she walked away.
I'm fairly certain my dick was on board with that.
I texted her with my handy new gadget and told her, "thanks for giving the
gang a head's up by the way."
I saw her look down to check her phone, then laugh as she typed something
back. "likewise for the water I stepped in this morning."
Damn, I'd forgotten to clean that shit up...I nodded a little "touche" to her and
then put my phone away, glancing up.
Turns out, Carlisle was watching that fuckery from his office.
And he was smiling down at me just before turning away, as though
someone…James…had entered his office and being that he was nice and
occupied, I headed for Bella's dressing room.
I closed the door quietly behind me after I made sure no one had seen me
sneak in, and then walked over to her as she sat at her dressing table, waiting
for Rose.
"You're not my makeup artist," she teased and I slinked my hands around her
waist and bent down, nuzzling her neck a little before kissing her there.
"God, I missed you."
She laughed as she brushed her hair a little and rolling her eyes at me
through the mirror. "It's only been a few hours, Edward, really."
Taking the brush from her, I swiveled her chair around and knelt down in
between her legs and took her face in my hands, then planted a kiss on her.
I was getting better at that every time, by the way.
A soft whimper sounded and I couldn't even tell you which one of us made it
but I didn't care.
"Good luck today," I told her as I got up and left the room again.
"You're leaving me?" she pouted and I smirked a little because fuck if she
wasn't the cutest damn…
I sighed. "Only until the next sneak attack," I assured her and then went on my
way.
…...
Later that day I met our director for the first time and I was pretty amazed at
how on top of shit he seemed to be, considering he hadn't been around at ALL
in the first couple weeks of rehearsals and line learning.
He seemed alright though, except for the fact that he appeared to be buddies
with fucking James.
"Laurent!" he'd called over to him once and when they huddled together over
something to do with the outside scene we had to shoot, I couldn't help but
notice their secret laughter they were trying to hide.
Great.
I got over that when I accidently on purpose ran into Bella in the lunch room
and was graced with a dick rub from our leading lady.
The high from my afternoon woody groping was squelched though, when I
had to grin and bear some grueling writers meetings, as in, they made nasty
comments while I went over some changes until I finally lost my shit and
basically told them to kiss my ass and to feel free to come up with better shit
but until that happened, I was in fucking charge of the scripts.
That pretty much shut them up.
And awarded me another approving nod from Carlisle. I felt an inner pang of
something over his never ending support. A craving for it I didn't remember
ever having growing up.
I felt so good after that power trip that I grabbed Bella from behind one of the
stage curtains while she was watching Mike try to remember to
say pelfinstead of quelf and managed a small make out session to include but
not limit itself to boobie groping and penis grinding.
As we walked back onto the stage I thought we were busted when James
rounded a corner to check up on things with the actors.
I quickly distanced myself from Bella though, and said, "So, you'll…" I waved a
hand. "Work that out later right, Miss Swan?"
I tried to be an annoying writer but she smiled anyway.
"Oh, I work it out alright," she told me. "I promise."
God she was a seductress times ten.
Homina.
James and I had a few words after she was out of sight. I gave him a little bit
of shit over the article not rearing its ugly head and he pretty much blew it off,
insinuating that I didn't appear to be an issue any more, so no harm no foul. I
gave him a smirk that I was sure he didn't understand and told him, "Yeah,
some things in life just aren't worth my time anymore."
The closer we got to show time the faster things seemed to move along.
Everyone was pretty stoked, even Tanya, who seemed unusually quiet
throughout the day, but when it came time to get things going, she kicked into
gear.
"Okay people, let's round up!" she yelled and of course, we all did, because
seriously, you don't fuck with Tanya.
The live studio audience was pretty enthusiastic and for a minute there, I'd
kinda lost my balance from the overwhelming feeling I was getting once again.
Not just because of the fact that there was roughly a couple hundred people
watching this thing live, but because the words I'd written
down…things I'dhelp come up with…for the most part anyway, were also
going to be delivered to who knows how many people nationwide over the air
waves.
I didn't know how to process that information.
Luckily, I didn't have to because I needed to pay more attention to the way
things worked and not on my lame insecurities for the evening.
It was really cool the way making this show had come together. I got all kinds
of caught up in watching Emmett get shots that the director wanted and I
loved how that guy just knew the way a scene was supposed to go without
even asking anyone.
He just had that thing.
That thing that people have when their instincts lead them and where it led
them was always win.
The Emmett McCarty Mojo.
Everything I witnesses just blew me away that night.
In particularly, Bella, who'd once again, worn some seriously tight fitting
leather outfit that Alice got her into and I made a mental note to borrow it and
ask her to wear it for me later on.
You really only see bits and pieces of the whole process of making a
television show throughout the week preceding the live show and I didn't even
know about some of the ad libbing that these guys were capable of.
It was a good thing, too, because there was a line that was clear as goddamn
day on Mike's sheet that he fucked up royally toward the end of the damn
show, but Bella picked up on it and covered brilliantly.
The audience loved her. It was clearly written on every single one of their
faces as they watched her.
I just had had no idea the extent of her talents.
Outside of the bedroom, that is.
Actually, I hadn't seen the full extent of her talents there, either…
Beside the point.
James pulled me out of my evil thought process like the dick that he was, of
course.
The last scene with Bella and Mike was coming to its close with the cue of "My
Sharona" playing and the crowd went absolutely nuts. That was when he
turned to me.
I was trying to ignore him, relishing the moment, watching Bella with a slight
smile on my face when he leaned in and informed me, "You'll never be good
enough for her, Monkey."
My eyes found the floor for just a split second and my eyebrows met.
Funny ass twat, that wasn't the impression I got last night.
I looked back up and met his eyes, then. "You're right James, I never will be,"
because, let's be honest here, it was true.
No one would.
But I could try.
I walked away at that and as the actors took their last bows I was caught off
guard as I tried to make my way to congratulate them…her, when I was
caught off guard by the host's next announcement.
"I'd like to introduce you to the pseudo head writer of this little treat, Edward
Cullen!"
Huh?
I panicked, I'm not gonna lie. I hadn't dressed for that shit and no one told me
they'd be introducing me to the freaking audience!
Although it was kinda cool hearing my name announced like
that...my real name.
Regardless, I turned to walk back off the stage when a light caught my sights
and shined down on me, stopping me in my tracks.
More clapping and cheering and I smiled and waved as the announcer gave
them information about my background that I had no idea they knew but I
guess it shouldn't have surprised me since Carlisle had connections like the
goddamn mafia.
It was embarrassing as hell and the only thing that kept me from freaking
completely out was Bella's smile as she clapped excitedly along with the rest
of the crowd and crew and I relaxed, shoved my hands into my pockets,
nodding as I stood there, surrounded by the cast and when it was all finally
over, Emmett, Alice and Rose swept me out of there like a group of hellions to
go celebrate.
The cleanup crew was breezing in as we were breezing out and I got the
oddest feeling that it was all just over suddenly…just like that.
Weird.
I had no idea where Bella was in the sea of people mulling about but I texted
her to see if she wanted to come out with us and she fairly quickly replied that
it probably wouldn't be smart seeing how the paparazzi were swarming
outside already.
Pretty typical of an opening night, supposedly.
Part of me didn't like thinking that we couldn't just walk out together like that
night we'd gone country line dancing...but the other part...the one that kinda
liked being sneaky about the whole James debauchery did like it, so I sucked
it up and asked if maybe I could ambush her back at her apartment later when
everything died down.
Please say yes, please say yes please please please please please…
I tapped my foot, waiting for a reply and then finally, she replied.
I pumped my fist into the air like Rocky Balboa after he fought and won by
mere seconds to Apollo Creed.
YES!
Then I looked around inconspicuously to make sure no one was looking.
Which they were.
Of course.
Emmett shook his head as he slipped his jacket on, nodding for me to hurry
the hell up.
Bella texted one more time to assure me that she'd let Felix know the deal so I
wouldn't have to lift his keys again and I laughed nervously, hoping she didn't
tell the big guy EVERYTHING about that.
Then I took off for a night waiting anxiously for later to
No comments:
Post a Comment